I’m searching for a real love…
Patience is one of those things I used to pray for.
My journey along the autism spectrum definitely tried my patience.
That first diagnosis of pervasive non-developmental disorder exacerbated my lack of patience. When my two-year-old wasn’t developing quite as he should, the psychiatrist’s verdict was wait and see.
Wait and see!?
I didn’t handle that very well.
My compulsion and desperation to “fix” things left me frustrated and anxious.
Trying to juggle our autism purgatory in the midst of everything else going on at the time stripped me of what little patience I did have.
I loved my family, yet my ever growing impatience shortchanged my efforts to show the love choked inside of me.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” I Corinthians 13:4 NIV
I was neither patient nor kind.
I envied those who didn’t have my particular menagerie…
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B Is for Blessed! 
I’m so sorry, Lilka. I had forgotten about your son’s struggles…and yours as well! Are things going better? Sometimes, we feel our patience is leaking out like water in a punctured bucket. But that may be part of the teaching tool. The more we lose, the more we have to develop to replace what we lose and put away a share for the next trial!
Let me know how things are going when you can…
Steve
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It’s all good Steve! We are both in a much better place now. I was reminiscent of years past and how it taught me/us patience so others will know they are not alone on that learning curve. We have both made miraculous progress 😀
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Good for you both! I’m so glad to hear that was more retrospective in nature and that you are both better now. I’ve been reading your work for 2-3 years or more and remember some pretty rough times.
And it does help for people to know there is hope on that “learning curve…”
Have a super weekend, Lilka…you deserve it!
🙂
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Thanks Steve, you too! 😊
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Yes, it’s when I stopped feeling envious that I could look more realistically at my own situation. As you say, empathy and compassion do not come quickly or easy but they do come and I think that when we learn those kinds of things (patience as well), we are learning what Abba intends for us to learn and we become who He desires us to be. Love and hugs.
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I wholeheartedly agree. Looking out at others instead of UP from where our help comes delays most of us from becoming who God intended all along. As always thanks for stopping by today 🙂
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