Embracing God's Grace
Traveling over the river and through the woods or staying close to home, give thanks for blessings large and small; with God we are never alone.
B Blessed!
Oh, give thanks to the Lord! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples! 1 Chronicles 16:8 NKJV
Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34 NKJV
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 NKJV
This weekend, I was blessed to return to my hometown of Tallahassee and catch up with family.
Now, this isn’t “family” in the traditional sense of the word. Some families you are born into. Others you acquire through marriage. And then, if you are very fortunate, some family is chosen for you.
I graduated high-school in a tiny class. Instead of hundreds of students, there were only forty-eight of us. A dozen of those I met in kindergarten.
Our school was small. It was the kind of school where everyone literally knew everyone else. You knew them, their siblings and probably their parents as well.
It was a simple time when the jocks were jocks without the nerds walking in fear of them.
It was an era where the “board of education” hung on a wall. Some may scoff, but the kids that came out of “The High” had a credible respect for authority and grew up to be respectable adults.
Our teachers were more like mothers. There was always the fear they would see your real mother and tell them everything you were up to.
In a school that didn’t have the latest and greatest equipment, we learned to make the best of what we had and didn’t allow what we didn’t have to stand as an excuse between where we were and where we wanted to be. Truth be told, I don’t think we were aware we were lacking anything!
Those halls were filled with love and laughter. Fights were physical but quickly resolved.
No guns, no knives.
Our cafeteria’s food was cooked with love. Homemade cinnamon rolls, pot pies, and peach cobbler. The smells of which I’ll never forget.
We learned to sit still during assemblies where we would pray. We said the pledge of allegiance every morning.
May Days and Maypoles.
Life was simple then. We didn’t know how good we had it.
But now we do.
Thirty years later we look back at those times and laugh. We laugh at how blissfully unaware we were, oblivious to how rare it was to have classmates that were like sisters and brothers.
Those same “siblings” were there for me when I buried my parents. We pray for one another. I’m confident my classmates would tend to my kids in an emergency and welcome them with open arms if for some reason I couldn’t reach them.
This weekend, I was blessed to reminisce about old times and share some new. There was laughter. Yet, there were also tears for the classmates no longer with us. Still, through the process of coming together, many of us were able to “reconnect, release and rebuild.”
And, most importantly, there was love.
Love for one another and love for the institution that brought us together and keeps us together as friends and family, brothers and sisters.
That is something to be grateful for.
Florida A & M University Developmental Research School Class of 87.
FAMULY!
I thank God, I was blessed to be one of you.
A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17 NKJV
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 NIV
“Overflow with hope.”
I’ll admit I haven’t been overflowing with hope lately. Part of this is due to lingering details concerning my mother’s death. Her birthday is tomorrow and I’ve been missing Mommy.
Recently, I was talking to my sister-in-law and she asked me what was I hoping for?
I didn’t have an answer.
There was a time I would have quickly rattled off a dozen or more things. Instead, it took me a few minutes to come up with an answer. Instead of being hopeful, I’ve been numb.
In Romans 15:12, Paul implores us to be filled with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, the events of life leave us less than optimistic so it is only through the “God of hope” that we can have joy and peace as we trust in Him.
Trusting God, it isn’t always joyful or peaceful. It doesn’t necessarily “feel” good. But we must trust anyway. The Holy Spirt can allow us to be hopeful once more when we allow His presence to overtake us. I want to once again be that “crazy lady” always expecting the best.
A few weeks ago, I had to deal with one of those “lingering details” by registering my mother’s car before the tag expired. As I’m down at the county tag office, I fill out the paperwork to get the vanity tag GRCNMRC. I figure grace and mercy held me together this year so it was more than appropriate.
When you fill out the form, you must make three selections in case the first one is taken. I wasn’t worried because I have always received the vanity plates I requested. Well, apparently there is another person of the same mind as myself because GRCNMRC was already taken.
Really?!
On to my second choice, the clerk quickly shook her head “no.”
“BBLESSED” was also registered. It would have been nice, still I can imagine someone having selected that one.
Frustrated, I held my breath as the clerk typed in my last choice. At this point, she surely thought I was wasting her time. I figured I would have to come back. The odds were slim.
Surprisingly, they were in my favor. I was filled with hope with I received this in the mail this week.
I see “signs and wonders” all the time but I took this as a definitive message to get my hopes up!
And Mommy would surely want me to.
I am now hopeful once more that my writing endeavors go well. I am hopeful both boys exceed their expectations in college. I am hopeful about this new phase of my life. I am even hopeful that my alma mater defeats North Carolina A & T this weekend for Homecoming.
Go Rattlers!!!
What are you hoping for?
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
By the time you read this, I should be well on my way to celebrate my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. My “ride or die” and I are off to spend some quality time together as we reminisce upon our better and our worse, the rich and the poor and appreciate the fact we are in relatively good health.
We are no longer the wide-eyed twenty somethings who were engaged in just six weeks. Twenty-five years later, we have been through some things.
Births and deaths.
Gains and losses.
More grey hairs.
Still, I can thankfully say the “worse” made us better instead of bitter.
We learned to compromise and admit our faults. We can now balance our strengths and tolerate our weaknesses. Most importantly, we learned to rely on God instead of ourselves.
Through two kids, five homes, six cities, eleven pets and too many career choices to mention (both his and mine) we managed to keep it together.
And sometimes “together” is more than enough.
We now find ourselves back where we began, just the two of us.
Another cycle of life. Sunrise, sunset.
Happy Anniversary Rod Raphael!
Our “better” has far exceeded our “worse.”
We truly are blessed.
And now, we are off on another adventure. Hubby and I are headed to view some amazing sunrises that we may cherish them later in our sunset.
God willing, together.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 NIV
And the Lord went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night.
Exodus 13:21 NKJV
Last week I endured enjoyed a “road trip” with my oldest who is now safely deposited in Iowa. This week, I’ll drive to sunny Orlando to get the second born tucked away as well. Racking up the miles, I recognized similarities between life and various portions of my “road trip.”
Driving I-75 to Nashville, the mountains of Tennessee reminded me that we all have ups and downs. Sometimes the journey is perilous. Often, roads are winding and we can’t see what’s around the next bend. There may be times where there is no exit when you need one. We may be forced to maneuver, white knuckled and all, around two-ton hazards and pray for the best.
Moving on to St. Louis demonstrated there is always the other side to the hardest part of any journey. Life eventually evens out. We may face inclement weather and unexpected delays. Still, if we plod along, we make it through our storms and find our dark clouds behind us.
Finally, riding along US-61 we came upon blue skies and bright clouds. The sky was picturesque as Cam and I rode through lush farmlands and took in vistas unlike any other.
We don’t always know what awaits us at the end of our journey, still, we will never find out unless we have faith enough to continue.
We may experience fender benders or catastrophic collisions. We can become blindsided through no fault of our own.
I pondered all of this after I was safely home watching the clouds go by.
The ups and downs, twists and turns, hazards and detours forced me to concede life isn’t always easily navigated.
“You can’t move forward if you keep looking back.” I heard deep inside.
I’ve been looking back alot these past months, reflecting and pondering “could haves” and “should haves.”
Analysis paralysis, holding me captive.
I’ve traveled thousands of miles these past few weeks but not really moving forward.
It’s time to get moving again.
Forward.
What about you?
Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:12-14 NKJV
“Next time you’re found, with your chin on the ground
There’s a lot to be learned, so look around
Just what makes that little old ant
Think he’ll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, can’t
Move a rubber tree plant”
My hopes haven’t always been high.
I’ve always been a “realist” even as I prayed to God for the miracles I sought. It is only in the past four or five years that I realized I wasn’t setting my “hopes” even remotely high enough.
As I began to see how God was using my son Lan to not only show me what He could do and would do for me, God also taught me to get my hopes up!
One small victory after another made me realize that I didn’t have to have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I somehow managed to let God be God and relax a little and truly trust God for the things I prayed for.
It has been my general experience that God responds to my level of expectation. The things I dare hope and dream for He brings (slowly) to fruition if I hope hard enough and trust that He can and He will.
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:1-5 NKJV
Hope does not disappoint.
I would rather hope for the best and be proven wrong than wallow in misery faithless.
Yes, there are things I will never understand. Yet, I cannot allow life’s disappointments to rob me of God’s peace when I choose to trust in Him.
Lan is asserting his independence more and more. He has “high hopes” for his future. If I tell him something’s not going to happen he just gives me “the look” learned from big brother that basically says I hear you but I’m not listening to a thing you say.
And that’s not always a bad thing.
I believe my past failures to hope as high as God would have me to do stem from listening to people instead of listening to God. If we are so tuned in to the multitude of “nos” coming from the choir, we will never hear God’s whispered “yes.”
Lan has confidence I never had at his age, partly because he had to work extremely hard to meet his goals. He learned far sooner than I ever did to tune out the “no.”
I’m grateful to have come to a point where I can persevere and hope for God’s best fully aware that His best isn’t always what I want.
Hope does not disappoint.
“But he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes
He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes
So any time you’re gettin’ low
‘Stead of lettin’ go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant”
**Songwriters: J. VAN HEUSEN, S. CAHN High Hopes lyrics © BARTON MUSIC CORPORATION
Last year this time was a bit chaotic in my household. I wrote about the winds of change as my oldest son prepared to graduate high school and we joyfully prepared for his move out of state. I’d accepted a promotion; my husband started a new job and we were excited about what the future would hold.
We never imagined exactly one year later our next graduation celebration for would be haunted by grief. My mother’s absence at this milestone is painful. I have no doubt she will see her grandchild graduate, yet I miss her just the same.
And, once again there is change in my employment status.
By the time you read this, I will be “officially” retired. I turned in my keys to the pharmacy with no regrets yet grateful for the opportunity to practice pharmacy for twenty-five years. I’ll miss my pharmacy phamily and my favorite customers, but it is time.
It is time for me to nurture the talents God blessed me with. It is time for me to step out in faith and stretch myself. Sometimes we pray for change but when it comes we stand bewildered and confused!
God often answers my prayers in the most unexpected ways, ways that are far higher than my understanding. Yet, I trust that God knows what is best for me and when I’m mature enough to actually receive the answers I’ve prayed for.
The child I never imagined leaving home for college despite prayers too many to count is actually leaving home for college!
Full Sail ahead for him!
He has changed drastically this year alone, fought his way through the trials of autism and matured in ways we couldn’t foresee only a few years ago. It will be quite the change when August arrives and our nest is empty!
Perhaps, the only constant in life is change.
Some changes we bring on ourselves. Others blindside us without warning.
We can never fully anticipate the future but we can be assured Who holds it.
I haven’t always embraced change in my life but maybe now that I’m a bit older, I hope I’m wiser as well.
Whatever changes loom on your horizon, I pray you trust God to see you to and get you through them.
Even the best of times don’t last forever. Still, we can cherish the good, learn from the bad and hopefully our experiences leave us changed for the better.
Whatever my journey, I hope to stay the course until His winds change it once more…
The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course. Ecclesiastes 5:6 NIV
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
Proverbs 31:27-28 NIV
I’ll admit I’d been dreading this weekend for weeks. Losing my mother at the first of March, I was keenly aware that Mother’s Day would soon be upon me and I’d have to somehow get through it.
Yet, my favorite cousin reached out to me and convinced me to celebrate this weekend and not dread it. After a bit of reflection, I realized he was right.
I was blessed with a wonderful mother, the kind of person I’d believed I could never take for granted. Now months after her passing, even with the best of intentions, I realize I did.
Still, she left me far more blessings than I’ll ever be able to count. I thank God for my years with her and challenge you to make time to remember and appreciate the special women in your own life.
Celebrate your mother, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, godmothers, teachers, community leaders and any women who have positively impacted you. If possible, give them flowers while they can smell them and kind words while they can hear them.
Here are a few lessons I learned from my mom…
Keep your eyes on your destination, not your location
Good manners show you value other people
The merits of a good education
A great attitude will take you farther than a good education
Money can’t buy common sense
Don’t expect anything you aren’t willing to work for
How to cook with love
How to give generously
Unconditional love
How to pray
And finally, even as I was losing her, my mother managed to teach me one final lesson.
Be still and trust God.
Not knowing what each day would bring, Mommy demonstrated how to trust God and peacefully wait on the Lord. She kept her faith and kept her cool all the while concerned about everyone else.
I’m pretty sure I’m not yet mature enough to handle all the obstacles she overcame as graciously as she did throughout her lifetime. She set the bar mighty high.
But maybe one day…
Happy Mother’s Day Mommy
When I drove to my hometown in January, I had no idea of what lay ahead. What I thought would be a day trip, a weekend at most, would evolve into something completely different.
My mother and I spoke of the azaleas blooming all over. Lavender and hot pink azaleas were ablaze in her yard. Spring often comes early to Tallahassee, even still, January was way too soon.
Our “trials” would teach me perseverance. My faith was indeed tested. I was blessed with prayers and understanding from family and friends in my “hometown” as well as “back home” outside of Atlanta.
Mommy’s initial surgery went well. Then, doctors would find the need to do another. She was out of one hospital and into another to transition to rehab.
Or, so we thought.
We talked and laughed. We caught up with each other, watched television all while she would prod me, “Don’t you need to go home?”
I assured her there was no place I would rather be. I was blessed to be at her side, listening to doctors, giving my advice and whatever I could do for the woman who hadn’t been hospitalized since giving birth to me!
I would eventually put up her Christmas tree as it began to look oddly strange on Groundhog Day. I tidied up. I purchased a microwave for the kitchen that had gone forty-five years without one.
Mommy was a good patient, exceeding expectations and many prayers were answered. She pushed through surgeries, pain and discomfort. Only a few times did she ever complain, and prodded by docs to do even that.
Six weeks to the day of that emergency appendectomy I kissed her and said, “You’re going to be just fine.”
Those were the last words I would say to her before they put her under. I didn’t think too much of it. Just another hurdle to overcome like so many before.
I would later cry among those pink azaleas, uncontrollably and not sure why. Mommy’s condition hadn’t changed, but maybe God was changing me. After everything she had gone through, it was the first time I really contemplated that she might not return home.
Family and friends prayed for healing.
I often wonder now what she prayed.
Each week spent in the hospital meant the road to recovery became longer and longer. Mommy told me she did not want to suffer any lengthy illness. Or become a burden. She knew all too well what it entailed to be a caregiver. She had done it herself for years.
But, the woman who loved me faithfully and selflessly could never become a burden to me. Couldn’t she see how much I loved her?
Or maybe, just maybe, Mommy loved me more.
In the end, I was correct when I told her “she would be just fine.”
Those pink azaleas gave way to white.
On the third of March, God called her home. And I suspect after seven weeks of poking and prodding, she was ready to go.
“Home” isn’t the same anymore.
The yellow house on the corner is just another house without her in it. When I think of home, my mind now looks toward a place of peace and joy unlike any other. One without pain. No doctors. No tears.
See you when I get home…
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 NKJV
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:2-5 NIV
Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been “off the grid” lately.
I’m hanging in there but currently dealing with a family emergency back home.
Many thanks to all of you who have blessed my family with your love, prayers and support. It has really seen us through.
I’ll be back writing soon but right now Mommy needs me more.
Peace, love and B Blessed!
***Our “Bridges” series will continue on this site “as I get by with a little help from my friends” 😉 I’ll rejoin the conversation soon.
B Is for Blessed! 