Tag: Garden

Sunrise, Sunset…

“Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears”
–Fiddler on The Roof

These lyrics came to mind today as I sat on the porch and thought about all the changes my family managed this year. Life as an empty nester is finally sinking in as there are no dishes in the sink, or crumbs on the floor and the cats are looking to me for food.

  It has been a year of both sunrises and sunsets for us. We celebrated a graduation and both kids are reaching new levels of independence. Yet, we also loss of both of our mothers and I felt it was best I retired.

These events force me to acknowledge how precious time really is. I have an ever-evolving perspective as I consider how to spend the rest (and optimistically, the best) of my life.

There are a few writing projects I want to pursue. I have a huge collection of books unread. I hope to become a better photographer too!  Yet, as much as I desire to do these things, I am no longer preoccupied obsessed with them. I’m trusting God that I’ll get around to them, eventually…

I want to live, not just exist,
I long to thrive and feel the bliss
to live by faith, not out of fear,
With time to cherish all who are dear;

With each sunrise, I seek to see
And do the work God has for me
May each sunset find me content
The time I spend, God finds well spent

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens: Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

Keep it moving…

And the Lord went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night.
Exodus 13:21 NKJV

Last week I endured enjoyed a “road trip” with my oldest who is now safely deposited in Iowa. This week, I’ll drive to sunny Orlando to get the second born tucked away as well. Racking up the miles, I recognized similarities between life and various portions of my “road trip.”

Driving  I-75 to Nashville, the mountains of Tennessee reminded me that we all have ups and downs. Sometimes the journey is perilous. Often, roads are winding and we can’t see what’s around the next bend. There may be times where there is no exit when you need one. We may be forced to maneuver, white knuckled and all, around two-ton hazards and pray for the best.

Moving on to St. Louis demonstrated there is always the other side to the hardest part of any journey. Life eventually evens out. We may face inclement weather and unexpected delays. Still, if we plod along, we make it through our storms and find our dark clouds behind us.

Finally, riding along US-61 we came upon blue skies and bright clouds. The sky was picturesque as Cam and I rode through lush farmlands and took in vistas unlike any other.

We don’t always know what awaits us at the end of our journey, still, we will never find out unless we have faith enough to continue.

We may experience fender benders or catastrophic collisions. We can become blindsided through no fault of our own.

I pondered all of this after I was safely home watching the clouds go by.

The ups and downs, twists and turns, hazards and detours forced me to concede life isn’t always easily navigated.

“You can’t move forward if you keep looking back.” I heard deep inside.

I’ve been looking back alot these past months, reflecting and pondering “could haves” and “should haves.”

Analysis paralysis, holding me captive.

I’ve traveled thousands of miles these past few weeks but not really moving forward.

It’s time to get moving again.

Forward.

What about you?

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:12-14 NKJV

A Few More Lessons From a Spider…

I’ve learned a thing or two from spiders over the years. My favorite spider is Charlotte from the E. B. White classic Charlotte’s Web. These days the increase of spiders in my yard hint that fair time will soon be upon us.

Even as a kid, one of the best things I liked about Charlotte was she was smart. She used her “web design” to save Wilbur. Most of us would be a lot smarter if we actively sought wisdom. I suspect the book of Proverbs is there to provide us the wisdom that would indeed “bless us” if we would take initiative enough to heed it.

Speaking of initiative, Charlotte took the initiative to help Wilbur. I don’t recall Wilbur asking her for help in the story.  Charlotte didn’t simply think oh, that’s too bad when she heard of his plight. She actually did something.

How many times do we hear of a need and take time to think about what we can do to change a situation for the better? And then actually follow through and do it? Too often, we convince ourselves not to heed the prodding of the Spirit and rationalize our complacency. We probably can’t change the entire world but we can possibly make a world of difference to at least one person.

My latest lesson comes from my own backyard.

Patience.

 The spiders in my yard have done all they can to help themselves by spinning huge webs.  They aren’t moving much these days. Now, they simply wait for meals to come to them. Spiders wait with an expectancy that what they need will eventually find them.  How many of us are as confident in our faith that God will supply our needs after we have done all we can?

I am praying for wisdom these days. I am striving to be selfless and available. I am gradually learning patience.  If God can speak through a donkey, surely, we can learn a thing or two from a spider…

There are four things which are little on the earth,
But they are exceedingly wise:
The ants are a people not strong,
Yet they prepare their food in the summer;
The rock badgers are a feeble folk,
Yet they make their homes in the crags;
The locusts have no king,
Yet they all advance in ranks;
The spider skillfully grasps with its hands,
And it is in kings’ palaces.   Proverbs 30:24-28 NKJV

Beauty for Ashes…

Isaiah 61 is probably one of the most comforting chapters in the Bible. The very first verse begins with good news preaching “good tidings to the poor,” speaks to “heal the broken-hearted,” and proclaims “liberty to the captives.”

Most of us need “comfort” at one time or another. We suffer wounds along our way. We lose people and mourn. Things we hold dear can be reduced to nothing.

Fear, doubt, and even daily life can sometimes pull us under yet thankfully we don’t have to stay under or bound by any of our losses. Isaiah teaches us not to wallow in our sorrows but instead be willing to exchange what we have for what our God is willing to give us.

Peace.

Joy.

Beauty.

I recall learning how the ashes caused by forest fires fertilize the ground to allow new growth. The “fires” in our lives have this same potential. How amazing that the remnants of what was can become the foundation for what can be.

If you are wounded, don’t give up. Instead, give yourself over to God. He can take you and your remnants and produce something new!

Isaiah preached of what was to come, our God is available to us now.

A Healer.

A Redeemer.

Receiving God’s beauty requires that we give up what we have, even that which is painfully familiar, so that we may receive His promises.

 What are you holding on to?

“To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified,”
Isaiah 61:3 NKJV

 

Don’t Be Deceived…

I was recently reminded to be a bit more mindful and not merely act on what I “think” I see.

Our enemies aren’t always obvious. They rarely arrive with a pitchfork and horns.

Some are flatterers, even endearing. Many are manipulative and masters of illusion, leading us to make assumptions that can cause us great harm.

Upon closer inspection, I realized the “bee” in the photograph was hardly a bee.  Instead it is a wasp, to which I am highly allergic. There are no less than six Epi-pens stashed around my home!


Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.
1 Peter 5:8 NKJV

It is impossible to resist our adversary if we can’t recognize him.

And then there are times we are so eager to receive what we want, we refuse to acknowledge the pitfalls that lie ahead.

The serpent deceived Eve because she desired something she could not have.

Jacob was deceived into marrying Leah instead of Rachel. Had he known the youngest could not marry before the firstborn, I think Jacob would have negotiated a better deal than fourteen years of servitude!

When in doubt, check it out.

Ask questions.

Investigate.

Pray!

I’ve slowly learned to listen to God when my gut is screaming “Danger!”

Every good deal is not a good deal.

Some “situations” that fuel anxiety are often distractions to keep us from fulfilling our purpose.

Don’t be deceived into thinking God doesn’t love you.

He does.

Don’t be deceived into thinking setbacks last forever.

They don’t.

Don’t be deceived by rhetoric that is contrary to God.

 All lies.

 Wise choices often precede a blessing. Ask God for wisdom and don’t be deceived…

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
James 1:5 NKJV

Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
James 1:16-17 NKJV

High Hopes!

“Next time you’re found, with your chin on the ground
There’s a lot to be learned, so look around
Just what makes that little old ant
Think he’ll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, can’t
Move a rubber tree plant”

My hopes haven’t always been high.

I’ve always been a “realist” even as I prayed to God for the miracles I sought. It is only in the past four or five years that I realized I wasn’t setting my “hopes” even remotely high enough.

As I began to see how God was using my son Lan to not only show me what He could do and would do for me, God also taught me to get my hopes up!

One small victory after another made me realize that I didn’t have to have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I somehow managed to let God be God and relax a little and truly trust God for the things I prayed for.

It has been my general experience that God responds to my level of expectation. The things I dare hope and dream for He brings (slowly) to fruition if I hope hard enough and trust that He can and He will.

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:1-5 NKJV

 Hope does not disappoint.

I would rather hope for the best and be proven wrong than wallow in misery faithless.

Yes, there are things I will never understand. Yet, I cannot allow life’s disappointments to rob me of God’s peace when I choose to trust in Him.

Lan is asserting his independence more and more. He has “high hopes” for his future. If I tell him something’s not going to happen he just gives me “the look” learned from big brother that basically says I hear you but I’m not listening to a thing you say.

And that’s not always a bad thing.

I believe my past failures to hope as high as God would have me to do stem from listening to people instead of listening to God. If we are so tuned in to the multitude of “nos” coming from the choir, we will never hear God’s whispered “yes.”

Lan has confidence I never had at his age, partly because he had to work extremely hard to meet his goals. He learned far sooner than I ever did to tune out the “no.”

 I’m grateful to have come to a point where I can persevere and hope for God’s best fully aware that His best isn’t always what I want.

Hope does not disappoint.

“But he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes
He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes
So any time you’re gettin’ low
‘Stead of lettin’ go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant”

 

**Songwriters: J. VAN HEUSEN, S. CAHN  High Hopes lyrics © BARTON MUSIC CORPORATION

Bend Don’t Break!

Everyone is guaranteed some form of hardship, storms, distress/duress that ultimately forges us into the people God would have us to become. Though not pleasurable experiences, our problems are necessary for our progression from one stage in life to another. The way we deal with these experiences determines how we will come out of them. Some people seem to make it through, scraped up a bit but they come out in one piece. Others, instead, succumb to situations and trials never to come out of them and instead become overcome or swallowed by circumstances. So what is the difference between making it through and remaining stuck in a particular situation?

The answer is simple.  Bend don’t break.

We all have the best laid plans. However, the plans for our life and God’s plans are not necessarily one and the same. Our expectations don’t always transform into our experiences. Delays and disappointments are inevitable. The people who make it through hardships aren’t broken by life’s surprises. Instead, they learn to bend.

Twigs snap. Quick and sudden stress causes them to break into pieces. People can also snap. It is when experiences become so extreme, circumstances are crazy and expectations unmet that we “lose it” and do things we would not do if we were in our “right mind.”

The propensity to bend means that we can weather a storm. We can withstand the course of whatever life throws our way.  It may be uncomfortable, hard and even painful but bending means we won’t become broken by disappointment.  Our attitude determines our outcome when we choose to bend a little.

  Sometimes we have to change our habits. At others, we have to change our minds. And then there are situations where we have to choose to give a little, possibly giving up our own expectations or desires, in order to push forward and even keep peace along our journey.  Being inflexible in our relationships and even our own preconceived ideas only limits us and sets us up to potentially  “snap” under pressure. We should always be willing to bend to some extent by choosing to learn, mature, and submit to God.

Hardening our hearts and an unwillingness to listen to the counsel of others can leave us rigid, frail and easily broken.  Refusing to compromise can leave us frustrated and at odds with ever-changing  circumstances. Flexibility doesn’t dictate that we conform to the world. Flexibility allows us to move with God instead of remaining stuck where we are.

If you want peace of mind, be willing to change it when Divinely directed. If you wish to prosper, set goals but change them when God dictates. We can’t truly prosper out of God’s will. What worked yesterday won’t necessarily work today.  Don’t stay bound to the same ideas or experiences when God is trying to stretch your faith and do a new thing!

Listen when God speaks and then obey accordingly. God has challenged me do things I never would have imagined yet I can definitely say I’much better for it! I’ve been blessed when I chose to follow God instead of my own (sometimes crazy) inclinations.

Bend or Break?

The choice is ours to make!

The Winds of Change, Again…

 Last year this time was a bit chaotic in my household. I wrote about the winds of change as my oldest son prepared to graduate high school and we joyfully prepared for his move out of state. I’d accepted a promotion; my husband started a new job and we were excited about what the future would hold.

We never imagined exactly one year later our next graduation celebration for would be haunted by grief. My mother’s absence at this milestone is painful. I have no doubt she will see her grandchild graduate, yet I miss her just the same.

And, once again there is change in my employment status.

By the time you read this, I will be “officially” retired. I turned in my keys to the pharmacy with no regrets yet grateful for the opportunity to practice pharmacy for twenty-five years. I’ll miss my pharmacy phamily and my favorite customers, but it is time.

It is time for me to nurture the talents God blessed me with. It is time for me to step out in faith and stretch myself. Sometimes we pray for change but when it comes we stand bewildered and confused!

God often answers my prayers in the most unexpected ways, ways that are far higher than my understanding. Yet, I trust that God knows what is best for me and when I’m mature enough to actually receive the answers I’ve prayed for.

 The child I never imagined leaving home for college despite prayers too many to count is actually leaving home for college!

Full Sail ahead for him!

He has changed drastically this year alone, fought his way through the trials of autism and matured in ways we couldn’t foresee only a few years ago. It will be quite the change when August arrives and our nest is empty!

Perhaps, the only constant in life is change.

Some changes we bring on ourselves. Others blindside us without warning.

We can never fully anticipate the future but we can be assured Who holds it.

I haven’t always embraced change in my life but maybe now that I’m a bit older, I hope I’m wiser as well.

Whatever changes loom on your horizon, I pray you trust God to see you to and get you through them.

Even the best of times don’t last forever. Still, we can cherish the good, learn from the bad and hopefully our experiences leave us changed for the better.

Whatever my journey, I hope to stay the course until His winds change it once more…

The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course. Ecclesiastes 5:6 NIV

Home…

When I drove to my hometown in January, I had no idea of what lay ahead. What I thought would be a day trip, a weekend at most, would evolve into something completely different.

My mother and I spoke of the azaleas blooming all over. Lavender and hot pink azaleas were ablaze in her yard. Spring often comes early to Tallahassee, even still, January was way too soon.

 Our “trials” would teach me perseverance. My faith was indeed tested. I was blessed with prayers and understanding from family and friends in my “hometown” as well as “back home” outside of Atlanta.

Mommy’s initial surgery went well. Then, doctors would find the need to do another. She was out of one hospital and into another to transition to rehab.

Or, so we thought.

We talked and laughed.  We caught up with each other, watched television all while she would prod me, “Don’t you need to go home?”

I assured her there was no place I would rather be. I was blessed to be at her side, listening to doctors, giving my advice and whatever I could do for the woman who hadn’t been hospitalized since giving birth to me!

I would eventually put up her Christmas tree as it began to look oddly strange on Groundhog Day. I tidied up. I purchased a microwave for the kitchen that had gone forty-five years without one.

 Mommy was a good patient, exceeding expectations and many prayers were answered.  She pushed through surgeries, pain and discomfort. Only a few times did she ever complain, and prodded by docs to do even that.

Six weeks to the day of that emergency appendectomy I kissed her and said, “You’re going to be just fine.”

Those were the last words I would say to her before they put her under. I didn’t think too much of it. Just another hurdle to overcome like so many before.

I would later cry among those pink azaleas, uncontrollably and not sure why. Mommy’s condition hadn’t changed, but maybe God was changing me. After everything she had gone through, it was the first time I really contemplated that she might not return home.

Family and friends prayed for healing.

I often wonder now what she prayed.

Each week spent in the hospital meant the road to recovery became longer and longer. Mommy told me she did not want to suffer any lengthy illness. Or become a burden. She knew all too well what it entailed to be a caregiver. She had done it herself for years.

But, the woman who loved me faithfully and selflessly could never become a burden to me. Couldn’t she see how much I loved her?

Or maybe, just maybe, Mommy loved me more.

In the end, I was correct when I told her “she would be just fine.”

Those pink azaleas gave way to white.

 On the third of March, God called her home. And I suspect after seven weeks of poking and prodding, she was ready to go.

“Home” isn’t the same anymore.

The yellow house on the corner is just another house without her in it. When I think of home, my mind now looks toward a place of peace and joy unlike any other. One without pain. No doctors. No tears.

See you when I get home…

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 NKJV

Trials…

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:2-5 NIV

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been “off the grid” lately.

I’m hanging in there but currently dealing with a family emergency back home.

Many thanks to all of you who have blessed my family with your love, prayers and support. It has really seen us through.

I’ll be back writing soon but right now Mommy needs me more.

Peace, love and B Blessed!

***Our “Bridges” series will continue on this site “as I get by with a little help from my friends”  😉  I’ll rejoin the conversation soon.