autism – B Is for Blessed!

Be Persistent!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, Hebrews 12:1 NIV

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. Luke 18:1 NIV

Persistence is something we must each embrace if we are going to obtain the very best God has for us. Each of us is called to finish our race. There will be trials and obstacles, distractions and pitfalls but we must push through if we are ever to reach the prize that awaits us at the end.

Persistence often separates those who could from those who would.

You don’t always have to be the most “qualified.” Sometimes all it takes to get ahead is showing up and having faith enough to step forward, no matter how small the step.

I admit that isn’t always easy.

Some obstacles will look insurmountable. Many people will call you “unrealistic.” Still, we must muster up our faith and continue to walk toward our goals even when they seem impossible.

Like a marathon runner, we have to run through the pain. Sometimes we walk and then there are times all we can do is crawl. Our cheerleaders won’t always stay the course. It is up to each one of us to endure our race full of expectation and determination even as doubt and fear loom on the sidelines.

No pain, no gain?

Oftentimes true.

Life sometimes hurts. There are disappointments. Failures and fatigue come with climbing uphill.

But keep climbing anyway!

Hebrews 12:2 instructs us to fix our eyes on Jesus and consider what He endured so that we do not grow weary and lose heart.

“For the joy set before him, He endured.”

We are called to do the same.

We must be willing to give up our fears, choose God over pleasing people and dare to dream for what defies “logical” expectations. I’ve learned what God wants for me is usually far better than anything I envision for myself. God’s best requires endurance. The tests of patience and pain push us from one stage to the next. When we persist, we choose faith over fear.

Persist in pursuing what God has placed in your heart to the point that people think you are nuts! Bystanders thought Noah, Gideon, Moses and even the Disciples were crazy for daring to do what God called them to do. Yet, in the end, their reward was great!

Persist and pursue God’s best for YOU!

“As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” James 5:11 NIV

***This post is dedicated to my son Landon, class of 2017, ever persistent in reaching his goals. We are VERY proud of you!

Bee Yourself!

Comparison is the root of discontent.

This is one truth I discovered this last decade or so.

We will never fully appreciate what we have if we always compare ourselves to other people.

My solution for this is to stay focused and run my race.

I watched a great example of this during the Olympics. One of the track and field athletes actually lost his heat because instead of looking forward and pressing toward the finish line, he looked to his left and to his right for the other runners. If he had only focused on the goal ahead, he would have qualified for the next race.

This is something my youngest and I are battling at present.

The topic of ACTs and SATs is popular among seniors. However, test taking has never been Lan’s strong point. His acceptance into a graphics arts/animation program will not be due to high test scores.

Still, listening to his friends has made him anxious. Comparing their plans with his own is causing frustration for both of us!

I have repeatedly told him he doesn’t have to pursue his goals the way others pursue theirs. I’m trying to make him understand this lesson, one that I’ve had to “learn” myself a time or two.

The temptation to compare ourselves with others is always present. Often in parenting, the opportunities are endless. Yet, this is a dangerous habit because it is so easy to become disenchanted with what you have based on the briefest glimpse into someone else’s life.

When we allow these comparisons to root themselves in us, they often leach away the peace and contentment that God provides.

The infamous “why my child?” easily pops into mind.

God’s answer of “you can handle it” isn’t usually a welcome answer.

We can sometimes allow the progress we make to be diminished by what we perceive around us. However, what we perceive isn’t always true.

I choose to appreciate my here and now, very much aware plenty of people would be more than satisfied with my particular set of “problems.”

I’m trying to teach Lan, by example, to be grateful for gains. Personal “success” is independent of what others think or do!

Lan may not be the most academically strong student; however, he does have an artistic flair all his very own. When we focus on our strengths and not what we think we lack, we can fully fulfill God’s purpose for our lives.

I’ve learned the hard way that what works for someone else isn’t necessarily going to work for me. My “success” in life won’t come following someone else’s blueprint. God gives us what we need to create our own.

I found peace and joy when I nurtured my own talents. I found contentment when I learned to enjoy being me.

I pray Lan learns this lesson far sooner than I ever did.

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well. Psalm 139:13-14 NKJV

May He grant you according to your heart’s desire,
And fulfill all your purpose. Psalm 20:4 NKJV

Solo!

Today is the first day of school for my youngest child. Lan begins his senior year without the watchful eyes of big brother nearby.

There was a time I’d be worried sick.

Today, I’m simply grateful.

Today my kid is flying solo!

Class schedule finalized? Check!

IEP (individualized education plan) in place and all participants on board? Check!

No big brother around to chaperone? Check!

Lan is “free to be me.”

And that’s a good thing.

I vividly recall Lan’s first year of high school. He was tiny compared to the other kids, walking out of class with his hands over his ears because he couldn’t stand the noise.

Three years later, Lan stands head and shoulders above most students and is an eager participant in the hallway chatter!

No longer a freshman or marching band “rookie,” he is making plans to map out his future. Lan envisions a future without his parents watching every single step he makes.

There was a time I pondered “what if” into infinity. I’ve learned to replace “what if” with “why not” and search for possibilities.

We will never know how far we can go if we don’t dare move our feet!

Conquering Everest begins with one step. Even if we never make it to the top, we can still end up miles ahead of where we started.

Still, some of the most important steps we can take aren’t physical, but mental.

We can’t always change a condition, but we can certainly change the way we think about it, pray about it and live with it.

Autism is only one adjective used to describe a person. It doesn’t necessarily have to define him.

Party animal.

Marching band member.

Artist.

These are words Lan uses to describe himself.

As parents, we pushed, prodded, and even yelled a time or two to get this kid to reach his potential, clueless to just what that “potential” would be.

Lan slowly made strides that eventually gave him both confidence and enthusiasm to go it alone. He is no longer afraid of flying “solo.”

I realize now, God did the very same with me!

It wasn’t fun.

And it certainly wasn’t easy.

Yet, our Heavenly Father can force us into situations that will ultimately bring out the best in us.

I’ve learned how to write and have guts enough to let people read it. I can now work a camera without breaking one. My computer skills have improved exponentially. And honestly, none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been forced along this ASD journey.

God can take what looks like a mess and turn it into a message that will draw us nearer to Him!

Even when we feel alone, we are not alone. God is ever present through both fears and tears.

I don’t have to have the answers as long as I give God my problems.

Like Lan, I’m now “free to be me.”

I’ve conquered my fear of flying solo!

“Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.”
Mark 1:35 NKJV

Loss…

“Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted” Matthew 5:4 NKJV

This week I lost something very dear to me very unexpectedly. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve handled it well. I realized that today when I showed up for an appointment that isn’t for another two weeks!

We all lose things in life. Some major, some minor.

Some losses signify a chapter is closing. When we move beyond our grief we can see the beginnings of another.

Others losses are harder still and hurt to our very core.

We rarely appreciate our blessings in their entirety. We take people and things for granted. We often don’t appreciate our “headaches” until they are snatched away. We often look elsewhere for the very blessings we have right at hand but are too blind to see.

Some losses make us reevaluate ourselves. Others are a wake up call to get back on track. Some losses we bring upon ourselves. Others hit hard without warning or fault of our own.

Living “blessed” is learning how to weather the bad as well as appreciate the good. Ideally, our losses would make us grateful for what we have instead of fixating on what is gone. I don’t know many people who always do that, myself included.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Romans 12:15 NIV

We all grieve differently.

Some things insignificant to us are a matter of life and death to someone else. Simply listening to someone for a moment or two can mean the world to someone in pain.

Now I’m sure some of you who have read thus far are wondering just what did I lose?

I lost Lucky.

Lucky was a stray cat who arrived at my back door over a decade ago. His arrival prompted my four-year old to begin talking. For a child diagnosed with autism, this was a very big deal! We never imagined a stray cat would become the answer to our prayers.

Sometimes our blessings come in the least likely packages. My husband and I were never cat people. But this black tuxedo cat won us over. He must have really been Heaven sent as we had two unruly dogs at the time. However, it wasn’t long before Lucky would rule our roost, dogs and all, until his death a few short days ago.

I have no doubt God has a sense of humor. He does use the foolish to confound those of us who would think ourselves wise. I’m grateful I grudgingly accepted this gift even as I dreaded something else to feed and clean.

In the end, we were the “lucky ones.” Lucky chose us and gave far more than we would ever imagine.

Sadly, God’s blessings don’t always last forever. Just as seasons change, so can our circumstances.

When we find ourselves at cross roads or lost because of our losses, we would do well to realize there is more to be grateful for than to mourn. There is always hope for the peace and joy only God can provide when we allow Him to fill our voids.

If you are grieving a loss, no matter how large or small, you don’t have to do so alone. Our God is waiting to comfort you with open arms.

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance; Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 NKJV

**Rest in Peace, “Lucky” Raphael. You loved us well!

Bloom!

My inspiration for my blog God autism and me turned sixteen this month!

As I look back, I realize the progress we have made is miraculous. My tears are no longer out of frustration but from joy.

I’m not sure exactly when I was able to breathe without fearing a phone call from the school. Yet today, my youngest is increasingly independent and learning to solve problems on his own.

He began this school year taunted by bullies and almost removed from his favorite class because of them. Yet, he finished the year on the honor roll earning the opportunity to play in the marching band next year with his brother.

Somewhere among the midst of IEPs, after school tutoring and endless hours of homework, Lan and I both began to bloom.

We are no longer closed off from others but rather optimistic instead of dreading what lies around the next corner.

Lan’s symptoms haven’t disappeared. However, we now manage them instead of stifle them.

Here are sixteen things God has taught me via autism.

How to improvise

How to find hope in all circumstances.

I am not in control. God’s got this!

How to open my mind up for the improbable

How to open my faith up for the impossible

Love and encouragement produce more than strict regimens

It’s okay not to be okay

I don’t have to be perfect

Perfection doesn’t exist on this earth

What once worked won’t always work.

With God, I am stronger than I ever imagined

My child is tough, resilient, and aware of everything!

How to bend without breaking

Sometimes you just have to make your own way.

Angels are among us in the guise of teachers, counselors and others

God’s not done with us yet!

You see, the photos of the flowers featured here “should” have bloomed nearly two months ago. My lilies have always bloomed around Easter no matter what. Yet, here they stand blooming far later than usual, lovelier and stronger than ever before.

We can do the same.

Sometimes we give up our joy when we don’t meet expectations created by others. It is easy to close up and fail to discover the gifts God places within us. We can’t acknowledge our talents let alone nurture them if we always focus on the “negatives.”

I challenge you to “open up” to possibilities you may have never considered before. Explore alternatives you may have once dismissed. Dare to reach out to new people and see if God doesn’t reveal fresh solutions to old problems!

With every passing year, my lilies grow taller and stronger. The dormant bulbs weather the frozen ground. Their strong stalks withstand spring storms. Their colorful blooms don’t wilt under the sun.

And that is exactly what God wants for us.

Like lilies, we go through seasons of dormancy where it looks like nothing is happening. But under the warmth of the sun, there is always the potential to produce something beautiful. Unlike the lily, we make the choice either to bloom or withdraw from the Son.

I choose to trust God.

Lan chooses not to be defined by a diagnosis.

What about you?

Choose to Bloom.

I Would Like to Thank…

Last week, my good friend Sherri Matthews over at A View From My Summerhouse was kind enough to nominate me for the Awesome Blossom Award. Sherri’s kindness reiterated the fact that last year I have some unfinished business from 2013. The end of 2013 began the American awards season of Grammys, Emmys, Golden Globes and such. Wouldn’t you know on the very last day of this awards season I’d be wrapping up this post as Oscars are being awarded in the background!

Sherri and I “connected” over my autism blog as we both have kids on the spectrum. Sherri and I also share our faith, a love for photography, and of course we both adore flowers! When she told me she nominated me for this award, I was not only flattered but delighted. I am very admittedly a flower fanatic.

The spirit behind the Awesome Blossom Award is one of community and friendship as we grow together and encourage one another in this journey called life. I’ve met some wonderful people through this blogging experience.

My nominees are:

Analytical Perspective shares so much! Her story and journey are inspiring. Her compassion for others shines through in every word. I’m so glad I “met” her here on WordPress.

This Ability Of Mine is written by a young lady who is the hope of every parent of a child with special needs. She writes about her kids who are on the spectrum and her love for them shines through. This young lady is destined to do great things in life!

Finally, Life in Portsong gives me that feeling of community with every read. The writer and I “met” over a shared love of Blue Bell Ice Cream. We both have kids looking toward college. We both share a faith, love of family and a sense of humor where we don’t take life too seriously. His tales of Virgil Creech warm the heart. If you haven’t already, this blog is definitely worth checking out!

This award is the closest I can come to giving my nominees flowers. Your kindness, selflessness, consideration and sense of community bring this nomination and much love your way. Congratulations! May you Be Blessed as you continue to bless others.

How Lovely!?

Emerging from a turkey induced coma, I was catching up on my reading only to learn that Clayton Paul Better Days through Better Ways… nominated me for The One Lovely Blog Award.

Clayton has been a “coach” of sorts encouraging me and many others just when I was wondering what am I doing writing a blog? And for this I am very thankful.

The kindness and generosity of other writers has been phenomenal on this six month blogging journey. I never would have imagined anyone would really find me in my blogging corner let alone give me the time of day as I posted my ponderings for the world to see. I think perhaps my blogging endeavors are God’s way of pulling me out of my “box.” I am indeed a very happy introvert!

Yet more than that, I have read words of other writers that have touched me when I’ve needed it most. Some posts have been “food for thought.” Others have made me laugh out loud. Some have even made me cry. I’ve been inspired, educated and fascinated as others have allowed me a glimpse into their lives.

Sharing your blogs with me has truly been a blessing.

So, per my award requirements, seven things about me…

I’ve been enjoying Christmas music for well over a month now. Yes, I am one of those people! Handel’s Messiah, Pachelbel’s Canon and other Baroque classics have streamed from my iPod for weeks.

I’ve been a pharmacist for over twenty years which has allowed me to meet some truly wonderful people both as patients and co-workers.

My favorite dog is the Shetland Sheepdog. I’ve been blessed with three as Christmas gifts and my sweet “Noel” is sleeping near me as I type this.

I have yet to find a kitchen gadget or cookbook I did not like.

Photography is my latest hobby. We’ll have to wait and see how that (literally) develops.

My inspirational writing began at some of the lowest points in my life. I didn’t realize at the time I was ministering to myself and would later encourage others with those same words.

Finally, I’m very grateful you took the time to read this! Time is precious; we can’t ever recover it once it’s lost. Thanks for sharing some of yours with me!

Now here is where it gets tricky. Many of the blogs I love have already received this award and the new ones I’ve found, I’m not sure if they will accept but I definitely think they are well….lovely. My nominees are:

Morsels of Bread

Vincent Egoro Personal Development, Relationships, Motivation through Christ

More Than Words

Adventures in LSD

Coloring Outside the Lines

Mind Body Soul Healing the Whole Person

Good Stewardship

Some of these are inspirational. Others deal with autism since I have benefited greatly from others who have shared their experiences with this disorder on their blogs.

Take some time to check out new arrivals in our blogosphere as well as old favorites. You never know what will inspire and stir your own creativity.

Merry Christmas and Be Blessed!!

Awards Day

A very kind man named
Clayton Paul, blogging over at Clayton Paul, Better days through better ways … nominated me for The Versatile Blogger Award! To say I was shocked is an understatement. However, his kind deed is very much appreciated nonetheless. I always enjoy reading his posts because I never know what I’m going to get each day (cause he’s versatile) but I look forward to them and each one leaves me with food for thought or insightful information. I’ve only been blogging for roughly three months now but here goes…

My Nominees are:

Devotions by Chris are literally “a daily dose of encouragement.” These are always good reads to start the day or end with. His voice is sincere and topics true to “real life” for anyone trying to “walk in the Light.”

Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane Blog is the very first blog I followed. This blog has given me laughter, inspiration, and the determination to be the best mom I can possibly be. Sometimes comical yet often touching, this very busy mom handles her challenges in stride. Some people preach, others teach by example!

Fighter Faith by Jason B. Ladd is a good one. This guy is no wuss! He’s a marine, husband, father of five and flies fighter jets! His blog is Christian but from a totally different perspective than mine. He tackles current events and some of the ugly stuff; after all he is a Marine! But he also tackles parenting and other relevant issues. Well rounded comments from a well-rounded guy.

The Culture Monk has me hooked. You never know what topic he will take on over a cup of coffee. Relationships, religion and culture are just a few things he tackles but his posts provoke you to really search out your opinion. He takes on the good, the bad and the ugly in what we call modern society.

J.S. Park calls his blog “A Blog for Struggling Christians,” I call it a good dose of common sense! It is a Christian based blog but he definitely “keeps it real,” posting on everyday issues people battle with daily in today’s culture.

The Adventures of Fanny P has made me laugh and cry. You never know what her adventures with thing 1 and thing 2 will bring about. She is very open and honest sharing both family joys and woes. She counts the joys, tears and her blessings!

Chris Martin Writes really, really well! He really puts you there in the midst of his stories. No time for a good book? Chris provides a good read “fix” that fits within daily time restraints yet leaves you satisfied. His writings are inspirational and thought provoking.

Today’s Manger gives good insight and advice about dealing with life “situations” often met in the workplace. These thoughts and posts are not exclusive to the work environment but they are always encouraging and inspiring. You don’t have to be a “manger” to benefit from these posts. They really teach us how to manage ourselves.

Heavenly Raindrops always leaves me blessed! Her stunning photos and inspired words are one of the first things I check out each morning.

Storyshucker by Stuart M. Perkins always offers a great read. His short stories are often inspirational, comical, and or insightful. His characters are vivid, and the stories have twists and turns that leave you smiling at the end. He is very talented and his tales talk to this southern gal’s heart.

Perceptions of Reality (tagged under parenting and autism). The post “Grandmother made her cry” really struck a chord with me. Well worth checking out if you are affected by anyone with special needs or would like a peek into living along the spectrum.

Life Reference is “a Christian’s walk through everyday life,” and I always enjoy
Don Merritt’s posts. He often show’s a different perspective to commonly asked questions. He provides a good read and direction for those willing to “dig just a little deeper.”

Faith Comes from Hearing just got the Liebster award but I like the posts so much it gets another. Yes, I know it’s another Christian blog but that is where I’m usually hanging out in the blogosphere. Do check it out. I’m obviously not alone in my opinion of this one!

The Belmont Rooster is one of my favorites. I am a die-hard gardener and so is he. Even if you aren’t gardener, his posts are quite entertaining and even educational. His blog is a gardener’s boon!

Finally, I would have nominated iChristian by Steve Rebus but his blog has already received this award. It blesses me every day. In addition, Prayers and Promises by Diana Rasmussen and Little World of Hope and Little Words of Hope are all awards free but definitely worth checking out!

Okay… seven things about me

I am really a fan boy! Or rather, fan girl. I am a die-hard Marvel Comics lover. Nothing against DC but that love of reading had to start somewhere. Thirty-five years later and I still love those X-men!

I’m a sucker for any pretty flower, bush or tree.

I am a therapist. No, not really but everyone treats me like one and comes to me with their problems. I think it’s because I’ll actually listen.

I’m an introvert married to an extrovert. That’s made for an interesting couple of decades of marriage.

I love jazz and classical music.

My favorite move is Jaws. Corny, I know but really a breakout back in its time. I watched it opening week when I was way too young leaving me traumatized for years. It continues to makes me flinch, fake shark and all.

Anything with chocolate, cream cheese or pecans is good.

Thanks again Clayton for the recognition and many thanks to all of you who have supported my writing. I have been consistently blogging (as consistently as I can) for roughly three months and the blogging community has quite generous.

I wish you all well and may you continue to bless those fortunate enough to find your words!

Lilka .