Bee Yourself!

Comparison is the root of discontent.

This is one truth I discovered this last decade or so.

We will never fully appreciate what we have if we always compare ourselves to other people.

My solution for this is to stay focused and run my race.

I watched a great example of this during the Olympics. One of the track and field athletes actually lost his heat because instead of looking forward and pressing toward the finish line, he looked to his left and to his right for the other runners. If he had only focused on the goal ahead, he would have qualified for the next race.

This is something my youngest and I are battling at present.

The topic of ACTs and SATs is popular among seniors. However, test taking has never been Lan’s strong point. His acceptance into a graphics arts/animation program will not be due to high test scores.

Still, listening to his friends has made him anxious. Comparing their plans with his own is causing frustration for both of us!

I have repeatedly told him he doesn’t have to pursue his goals the way others pursue theirs. I’m trying to make him understand this lesson, one that I’ve had to “learn” myself a time or two.

 The temptation to compare ourselves with others is always present.  Often in parenting, the opportunities are endless. Yet, this is a dangerous habit because it is so easy to become disenchanted with what you have based on the briefest glimpse into someone else’s life.

When we allow these comparisons to root themselves in us, they often leach away the peace and contentment that God provides.

The infamous “why my child?” easily pops into mind.

God’s answer of “you can handle it” isn’t usually a welcome answer.

We can sometimes allow the progress we make to be diminished by what we perceive around us. However, what we perceive isn’t always true.

I choose to appreciate my here and now, very much aware plenty of people would be more than satisfied with my particular set of “problems.”

I’m trying to teach Lan, by example, to be grateful for gains. Personal “success” is independent of what others think or do!

Lan may not be the most academically strong student; however, he does have an artistic flair all his very own. When we focus on our strengths and not what we think we lack, we can fully fulfill God’s purpose for our lives.

I’ve learned the hard way that what works for someone else isn’t necessarily going to work for me. My “success” in life won’t come following someone else’s blueprint. God gives us what we need to create our own.

I found peace and joy when I nurtured my own talents. I found contentment when I learned to enjoy being me.

I pray Lan learns this lesson far sooner than I ever did.

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well. Psalm 139:13-14 NKJV

May He grant you according to your heart’s desire,
And fulfill all your purpose. Psalm 20:4 NKJV

Soar!

I read somewhere that eagles teach their chicks to fly by dropping them from high heights. The parents will continue to catch their babies until eventually the chicks stretch their wings and begin to fly for themselves.

I dropped my own “chick” off at college last week. We prepared for his eventual departure by slowly nudging him out of the nest, giving him more responsibility and allowing him to do more for himself without out “hovering” to make sure everything was done to our standards.

Well, he is now settled in a nest of his own complete with a couple hundred dorm mates. The kids I saw as we moved him in looked excited, optimistic and ready for the future.

We “older” adults aren’t always as optimistic. We have experienced more “hard knocks” of life that leave us a bit jaded and perhaps a tad pessimistic.

“Realistic,” is what we tend to call it.

I enjoyed watching the kids full of potential walking around like they can take on the world. I am content knowing my child is confident in his own abilities. So much so that he had no problems kicking me and the hubby out!

And he was correct, it was time for us to go.

Time for us to let him stretch his wings, fellowship with other “chicks” and live his life without parents scrutinizing his every move.

It takes effort to hang on to hope when we forget that our Father created us to fly. Even though we sometimes feel like we are barely hanging on, God is always there watching and waiting for us to take flight.

Like the eagle, God doesn’t “drop us” until He knows we can fly.

 In Christ, we possess the ability to soar even in those less than ideal situations we loath. Still, we can crumble and fail to even stretch our wings when the fear of failure exceeds our expectations of God’s grace!

We must remind ourselves that should we fail/fall we too will be caught. Our wings may feel broken and our feathers a bit ruffled but our Father allows us to fall knowing it is the only way we will ever learn to fly.

 When we allow the negatives in life to build our character instead of fuel our fears, we can soar as God intended.

Sometimes those “youngsters” actually teach me a thing or two.

B Blessed class of 2020!

But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 NKJV

The Winds of Change…

cy·clone:  “storm with very high winds”  Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary

A new job.

Another new job.

A graduation.

That about sums up the changes in my household.

Sometimes change comes as a soft breeze, unexpected yet refreshing.

Then there are times when change pummels us with the fury of a hurricane.

Some changes we seek.

Others find us.

On more than one occasion in my “wilderness” adventures I received just enough of a “breeze” to keep me crawling moving when I felt like I couldn’t go on.

God is good like that.

Even in our wandering, God finds us and reminds us that our painful “now” is only temporary.

At other times God answers prayers so forcefully and abruptly I find myself awestruck!

Sometimes we think our prayers fall on His deaf ears when actually our “no” is really a “not yet.”

Very often I’ve found my answers weren’t delivered until everything came together better than I ever imagined and in the least likely of ways.

I’ve reflected this week on the many changes blessings that have come our way lately.

Having a child that graduates in two weeks will do that to you.

He’s a great son and I am very proud of him.

He is enjoying the benefits of his hard work even as I try to teach him that he may not always receive the benefits of his hard work (at least not right away) but always work hard anyway.

The difference between my “mini me” and myself is that early in life he has learned not to beat himself up over his mistakes. I admit that’s one thing I continually work on.

My son always manages to teach me a thing or two, including the fact that God’s answers aren’t always so close to home.

 Sometimes we have to change our mind (or at least broaden it) to receive the very best God has for us.

I can rejoice in my current season of “breezy days” as we celebrate graduation. Yet, I refuse to allow the fact that my “Cam Cat” is moving a thousand miles away to blow me over!

If anyone had told me a year ago I’d be sending him to Iowa (no offense to you lovely people in Iowa) I’d have said they were crazy.

But God knew.

Trust God. Pray without ceasing.

Significant changes from the person I was to who I am now.

Hopefully, Cam learns these lessons sooner than I did as well!

The wind goes toward the south,
And turns around to the north;
The wind whirls about continually,
And comes again on its circuit. Ecclesiastes 1:6 NKJV

*** Go Cyclones!!! Iowa State University Class of 2020!

How Lovely!?

Emerging from a turkey induced coma, I was catching up on my reading only to learn that Clayton Paul Better Days through Better Ways… nominated me for The One Lovely Blog Award.

Clayton has been a  “coach” of sorts encouraging me and many others just when I was wondering what am I doing writing a blog? And for this I am very thankful.

The kindness and generosity of other writers has been phenomenal on this six month blogging journey. I never would have imagined anyone would really find me in my blogging corner let alone give me the time of day as I posted my ponderings for the world to see. I think perhaps my blogging endeavors are God’s way of pulling me out of my “box.” I am indeed a very happy introvert!

Yet more than that, I have read words of other writers that have touched me when I’ve needed it most. Some posts have been “food for thought.” Others have made me laugh out loud. Some have even made me cry. I’ve been inspired, educated and fascinated as others have allowed me a glimpse into their lives.

Sharing your blogs with me has truly been a blessing.

So, per my award requirements, seven things about me…

I’ve been enjoying Christmas music for well over a month now. Yes, I am one of those people! Handel’s Messiah, Pachelbel’s Canon and other Baroque classics have streamed from my iPod for weeks.

I’ve been a pharmacist for over twenty years which has allowed me to meet some truly wonderful people both as patients and co-workers.

My favorite dog is the Shetland Sheepdog. I’ve been blessed with three as Christmas gifts and my sweet “Noel” is sleeping near me as I type this.

I have yet to find a kitchen gadget or cookbook I did not like.

Photography is my latest hobby. We’ll have to wait and see how that (literally) develops.

My inspirational writing began at some of the lowest points in my life. I didn’t realize at the time I was ministering to myself and would later encourage others with those same words.

Finally, I’m very grateful you took the time to read this! Time is precious; we can’t ever recover it once it’s lost. Thanks for sharing some of yours with me!

Now here is where it gets tricky. Many of the blogs I love have already received this award and the new ones I’ve found, I’m not sure if they will accept but I definitely think they are well….lovely. My nominees are:

Morsels of Bread

Vincent Egoro Personal Development, Relationships, Motivation through Christ

More Than Words

Adventures in LSD

Coloring Outside the Lines

Mind Body Soul Healing the Whole Person

Good Stewardship

Some of these are inspirational. Others deal with autism since I have benefited greatly from others who have shared their experiences with this disorder on their blogs.

Take some time to check out new arrivals in our blogosphere as well as old favorites. You never know what will inspire and stir your own creativity.

Merry Christmas and Be Blessed!!

Awards Day

A very kind man named
Clayton Paul, blogging over at Clayton Paul, Better days through better ways … nominated me for The Versatile Blogger Award! To say I was shocked is an understatement.  However, his kind deed is very much appreciated nonetheless. I always enjoy reading his posts because I never know what I’m going to get each day (cause he’s versatile) but I look forward to them and each one leaves me with food for thought or insightful information. I’ve only been blogging for roughly three months now but here goes…

My Nominees are:

Devotions by Chris are literally “a daily dose of encouragement.” These are always good reads to start the day or end with. His voice is sincere and topics true to “real life” for anyone trying to “walk in the Light.”

Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane Blog is the very first blog I followed.  This blog has given me laughter, inspiration, and the determination to be the best mom I can possibly be. Sometimes comical yet often touching, this very busy mom handles her challenges in stride. Some people preach, others teach by example!

Fighter Faith by Jason B. Ladd is a good one. This guy is no wuss! He’s a marine, husband, father of five and flies fighter jets! His blog is Christian but from a totally different perspective than mine. He tackles current events and some of the ugly stuff; after all he is a Marine! But he also tackles parenting and other relevant issues.  Well rounded comments from a well-rounded guy.

The Culture Monk has me hooked. You never know what topic he will take on over a cup of coffee. Relationships, religion and culture are just a few things he tackles but his posts provoke you to really search out your opinion. He takes on the good, the bad and the ugly in what we call modern society.

J.S. Park calls his blog “A Blog for Struggling Christians,” I call it a good dose of common sense! It is a Christian based blog but he definitely “keeps it real,” posting on everyday issues people battle with daily in today’s culture.

The Adventures of Fanny P has made me laugh and cry. You never know what her adventures with thing 1 and thing 2 will bring about. She is very open and honest sharing both family joys and woes. She counts the joys, tears and her blessings!

Chris Martin Writes really, really well! He really puts you there in the midst of his stories. No time for a good book? Chris provides a good read “fix” that fits within daily time restraints yet leaves you satisfied. His writings are inspirational and thought provoking.

Today’s Manger gives good insight and advice about dealing with life “situations” often met in the workplace. These thoughts and posts are not exclusive to the work environment but they are always encouraging and inspiring. You don’t have to be a “manger” to benefit from these posts. They really teach us how to manage ourselves.

Heavenly Raindrops always leaves me blessed! Her stunning photos and inspired words are one of the first things I check out each morning.

Storyshucker by Stuart M. Perkins always offers a great read. His short stories are often inspirational, comical, and or insightful. His characters are vivid, and the stories have twists and turns that leave you smiling at the end. He is very talented and his tales talk to this southern gal’s heart.

Perceptions of Reality (tagged under parenting and autism). The post “Grandmother made her cry” really struck a chord with me. Well worth checking out if you are affected by anyone with special needs or would like a peek into living along the spectrum.

Life Reference is “a Christian’s walk through everyday life,” and I always enjoy
Don Merritt’s posts. He often show’s a different perspective to commonly asked questions. He provides a good read and direction for those willing to “dig just a little deeper.”

Faith Comes from Hearing just got the Liebster award but I like the posts so much it gets another. Yes, I know it’s another Christian blog but that is where I’m usually hanging out in the blogosphere.  Do check it out. I’m obviously not alone in my opinion of this one!

The Belmont Rooster is one of my favorites. I am a die-hard gardener and so is he. Even if you aren’t gardener, his posts are quite entertaining and even educational. His blog is a gardener’s boon!

Finally, I would have nominated iChristian  by Steve Rebus but his blog has already received this award. It blesses me every day. In addition, Prayers and Promises by Diana Rasmussen and Little World of Hope and Little Words of Hope are all awards free but definitely worth checking out!

Okay… seven things about me

I am really a fan boy! Or rather, fan girl. I am a die-hard Marvel Comics lover. Nothing against DC but that love of reading had to  start somewhere. Thirty-five years later and I still love those X-men!

I’m a sucker for any pretty flower, bush or tree.

I am a therapist. No, not really but everyone treats me like one and comes to me with their problems. I think it’s because I’ll actually listen.

I’m an introvert married to an extrovert. That’s made for an interesting couple of decades of marriage.

I love jazz and classical music.

My favorite move is Jaws. Corny, I know but really a breakout back in its time. I watched it opening week when I was way too young leaving me traumatized for years. It continues to makes me flinch, fake shark and all.

Anything with chocolate, cream cheese or pecans is good.

Thanks again Clayton for the recognition and many thanks to all of you who have supported my writing. I have been consistently blogging (as consistently as I can) for roughly three months and the blogging community has quite generous.

I wish you all well and may you continue to bless those fortunate enough to find your words!

Lilka .