Category: Christianity

Who Do You See…

Lately, I’ve taken to morning walks not only to shed a few pounds but to also stimulate my brain. As I enjoy the fresh fall air, I am struck by the wide variety of trees and leaves on my path and how beautiful they all are.

Why can’t we appreciate people the same way? 

The woods I walk past are God planted, not man-made. The trees seem randomly placed. There are all kinds, shapes and colors. Some are evergreen magnolias, short scrub oaks, lanky pines and majestic maples. There are more I can’t even name.

A few of them are shedding their leaves. Others are in various states of fall splendor and transform daily. And then there are those that remain unchanged yet provide a backdrop for the dynamic show.

I suspect God planted these different trees together for reason. Each one serves a purpose. Larger trees provide cover for smaller varieties. Some bloom, others shed. Hard woods are mixed in with soft pines.

People are just as diverse as the trees that line my path. We have various body shapes, skin colors, personalities, and backgrounds. Yet, God has placed us all here to share this one earth. What if the diversity among us is intended to make humanity better as a whole?

fall-dogwood-10-11-2016  Many of us attempt to “convert” others into what we believe is proper. Our tolerance for others isn’t always what it should be even as we yearn to be seen and heard. We gravitate toward people like us. Very rarely do most of us dare deliberately talk and mingle with people much different from ourselves.

I have seen creative or “artistic” people scoffed at and challenged to do something “practical” instead of nurturing the gifts God gave them. I’ve watched people dismissed and discounted because of the color of their skin, gender or sexual orientation.

We do ourselves a disservice when we can’t appreciate others and see beyond whatever label or stereotype that first comes to mind. Each one of us is created in our Father’s image. Still, some of us have placed God in such a small box, we often fail to recognize Him let alone the people He created!

What if the individual characteristics that make each of us unique are there to serve a purpose?

When we quickly dismiss people far different from ourselves we lose opportunities to learn and grow.

It may require us to intentionally go to new places or talk with people unlike ourselves to receive blessings we don’t even know we need.

As I look around at all the various trees they remind me of the “different” people God placed in my life. They have been of different religions, nationalities, races, economic statuses, political affiliations and only God knows what else.

Many “different” people blessed me at some of the hardest times of my life. A few influenced my thinking. One in particular encouraged me to face my challenges head on. Still, others made my daily routine that much easier to bear.

With all of our differences we somehow managed to find more common ground that not. And through each one of them, so very different from myself, I realize I’ve been blessed.

“Thus saith God, the LORD, he that created the heavens, and stretched them out; he that spread forth the earth, and that which cometh out of it; he that giveth breath unto the people upon it, and spirit to them that walk therein:” Isaiah 42:5 KJV

** Feel free to join our dialogue on race relations that begins 10/21/16 with myself and Susan Irene Fox. 

…and Justice for All

When you see me, who do you see? A Black face?

Someone who evokes rage or fright,

Undeserving mercy, grace?

 

When you see me, who do you see? Blind and white

and deaf; loath to step into shoes

of your pain, color, grief or plight?

 

When you see me, when will you see that I am

a child of God blessed by the Lamb?

ruby_bridges_w_marshals

I have been rocked back and forth this year by the violence in our country over race relations and a serious lack of understanding, grace and communication between us all. To be frank, it reminds me of another decade.

In the 1960s we faced a country horribly divided by racial tension. We watched in revulsion scenes on our televisions of federal marshals escorting young, black children into white schools for the first time while being spat upon by angry white housewives.

We saw Black folks being attacked by dogs and fire houses, arrested for sitting at a lunch counter, and heard about the murders of three young civil rights workers. And at the end of 1964, the first Civil Rights Acts passed, which outlawed discrimination in voting and segregation in schools, at work and in places that served the public.

In 1968 we watched the Freedom March – a five-day walk from Montgomery to Selma, Alabama where thousands of non-violent demonstrators of all races faiths walked to the steps of the capitol building. State troopers attacked the unarmed marchers with tear gas and billy clubs. We mourned the assassinations of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and two months later of Bobby Kennedy. The second Civil Rights Act was passed which outlawed discrimination in housing.

I cannot, even now, get those images out of my mind when I see Black men shot down by police or when I view disturbing videos of police officers clearly out of control. And I don’t understand if just and righteous police officers can wound and capture a terrorist in New Jersey, why it’s not possible, with 3-5 officers present, arrest a man of color without a fatality – particularly those who are unarmed, who have their hands in the air or who are already on the ground.

We need the courage to have public discussions because this is not about one man or woman – a possible offender or a survivor of racism or a police officer. It is about our justice system which does not apply the same justice toward all.

I reached out to my friend Lilka Raphael, a sister in Christ, to ask if she would engage in this discussion with me. Because while I can sympathize and step into her pain and frustration for moments in time, she lives it every day. Because Lilka is a Black woman with a Black husband and two sons for whom she worries each time they walk out the door. And she said, “Yes.”

So beginning next Friday, Lilka and I will begin to write letters to each other, begin to ask and answer questions, begin to talk openly about our own perspectives, our responses, and our hope. Because we each derive hope through Christ, and we each see all our brothers and sisters as clay molded in love by our gracious Creator.

We pray you will look forward to our letters, read them, and engage with us in conversation to create healing and reconciliation in this online community and in your own communities.

In love and prayer,

Susan Irene Fox and Lilka Raphael

Busy or Productive?

Busy as a bee.

Bees are productive. They don’t waste time.

We are often busy.

But are we always productive?

It seems that most of us are always running around doing something.  Some of us work full-time outside of the home. Others work even harder in it.

Our society often pushes us to do more. Employers expect more. Family members demand more. Many of us are always on the run with jobs, kids, and family and readily lose sight of where we are going. Or, what we should be doing.

We are increasingly busy.

Busy with things we can’t escape and busy searching ways to escape.

We often busy ourselves with nonsense.

Time killers.

Dead relationships.

Some of us are so busy we lose focus for those things that really matter.

Family.

Friends.

Too busy for God?

If you find yourself breathless, overwhelmed, or stressed to the breaking point… stop!

S-T-O-P!

You can run around for days and accomplish nothing. Or you can be still and allow God to order your steps.

The Holy Spirit can guide you to the best use of your time.

busy bee Futility can be transformed into fruitfulness.

Think Pray about what you’re doing instead of going along aimlessly.

Is it time for you to change gears?

Take a different path?

You can try keeping up with everyone else under the assumption they know what they are doing, or you can try God.

God can rearrange those things that stress me and allow them to bless me…when I choose to trust Him.

Be blessed, not stressed!

Invite God into more of your life and see what He will do.

Busy or Productive?

The choice is yours.

“And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us, And establish the work of our hands for us; Yes, establish the work of our hands. “ Psalms 90:17 NKJV

“that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;” Colossians 1:10 NKJV 

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.” John 15:4 NKJV

Bee Yourself!

Comparison is the root of discontent.

This is one truth I discovered this last decade or so.

We will never fully appreciate what we have if we always compare ourselves to other people.

My solution for this is to stay focused and run my race.

I watched a great example of this during the Olympics. One of the track and field athletes actually lost his heat because instead of looking forward and pressing toward the finish line, he looked to his left and to his right for the other runners. If he had only focused on the goal ahead, he would have qualified for the next race.

This is something my youngest and I are battling at present.

The topic of ACTs and SATs is popular among seniors. However, test taking has never been Lan’s strong point. His acceptance into a graphics arts/animation program will not be due to high test scores.

Still, listening to his friends has made him anxious. Comparing their plans with his own is causing frustration for both of us!

I have repeatedly told him he doesn’t have to pursue his goals the way others pursue theirs. I’m trying to make him understand this lesson, one that I’ve had to “learn” myself a time or two.

 The temptation to compare ourselves with others is always present.  Often in parenting, the opportunities are endless. Yet, this is a dangerous habit because it is so easy to become disenchanted with what you have based on the briefest glimpse into someone else’s life.

When we allow these comparisons to root themselves in us, they often leach away the peace and contentment that God provides.

The infamous “why my child?” easily pops into mind.

God’s answer of “you can handle it” isn’t usually a welcome answer.

We can sometimes allow the progress we make to be diminished by what we perceive around us. However, what we perceive isn’t always true.

I choose to appreciate my here and now, very much aware plenty of people would be more than satisfied with my particular set of “problems.”

I’m trying to teach Lan, by example, to be grateful for gains. Personal “success” is independent of what others think or do!

Lan may not be the most academically strong student; however, he does have an artistic flair all his very own. When we focus on our strengths and not what we think we lack, we can fully fulfill God’s purpose for our lives.

I’ve learned the hard way that what works for someone else isn’t necessarily going to work for me. My “success” in life won’t come following someone else’s blueprint. God gives us what we need to create our own.

I found peace and joy when I nurtured my own talents. I found contentment when I learned to enjoy being me.

I pray Lan learns this lesson far sooner than I ever did.

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well. Psalm 139:13-14 NKJV

May He grant you according to your heart’s desire,
And fulfill all your purpose. Psalm 20:4 NKJV

Soar!

I read somewhere that eagles teach their chicks to fly by dropping them from high heights. The parents will continue to catch their babies until eventually the chicks stretch their wings and begin to fly for themselves.

I dropped my own “chick” off at college last week. We prepared for his eventual departure by slowly nudging him out of the nest, giving him more responsibility and allowing him to do more for himself without out “hovering” to make sure everything was done to our standards.

Well, he is now settled in a nest of his own complete with a couple hundred dorm mates. The kids I saw as we moved him in looked excited, optimistic and ready for the future.

We “older” adults aren’t always as optimistic. We have experienced more “hard knocks” of life that leave us a bit jaded and perhaps a tad pessimistic.

“Realistic,” is what we tend to call it.

I enjoyed watching the kids full of potential walking around like they can take on the world. I am content knowing my child is confident in his own abilities. So much so that he had no problems kicking me and the hubby out!

And he was correct, it was time for us to go.

Time for us to let him stretch his wings, fellowship with other “chicks” and live his life without parents scrutinizing his every move.

It takes effort to hang on to hope when we forget that our Father created us to fly. Even though we sometimes feel like we are barely hanging on, God is always there watching and waiting for us to take flight.

Like the eagle, God doesn’t “drop us” until He knows we can fly.

 In Christ, we possess the ability to soar even in those less than ideal situations we loath. Still, we can crumble and fail to even stretch our wings when the fear of failure exceeds our expectations of God’s grace!

We must remind ourselves that should we fail/fall we too will be caught. Our wings may feel broken and our feathers a bit ruffled but our Father allows us to fall knowing it is the only way we will ever learn to fly.

 When we allow the negatives in life to build our character instead of fuel our fears, we can soar as God intended.

Sometimes those “youngsters” actually teach me a thing or two.

B Blessed class of 2020!

But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 NKJV

Solo!

Today is the first day of school for my youngest child. Lan begins his senior year without the watchful eyes of big brother nearby.

There was a time I’d be worried sick.

Today, I’m simply grateful.

Today my kid is flying solo!

Class schedule finalized? Check!

IEP (individualized education plan) in place and all participants on board? Check!

No big brother around to chaperone? Check!

Lan is “free to be me.”

And that’s a good thing.

I vividly recall Lan’s first year of high school.  He was tiny compared to the other kids, walking out of class with his hands over his ears because he couldn’t stand the noise.

Three years later, Lan stands head and shoulders above most students and is an eager participant in the hallway chatter!

No longer a freshman or marching band “rookie,” he is making plans to map out his future. Lan envisions a future without his parents watching every single step he makes.

There was a time I pondered “what if” into infinity. I’ve learned to replace “what if” with “why not” and search for possibilities.

  We will never know how far we can go if we don’t dare move our feet!

Conquering Everest begins with one step. Even if we never make it to the top, we can still end up miles ahead of where we started.

Still, some of the most important steps we can take aren’t physical, but mental.

We can’t always change a condition, but we can certainly change the way we think about it, pray about it and live with it.

Autism is only one adjective used to describe a person. It doesn’t necessarily have to define him.

Party animal.

Marching band member.

Artist.

These are words Lan uses to describe himself.

As parents, we pushed, prodded, and even yelled a time or two to get this kid to reach his potential, clueless to just what that “potential” would be.

Lan slowly made strides that eventually gave him both confidence and enthusiasm to go it alone. He is no longer afraid of flying “solo.”

I realize now, God did the very same with me!

It wasn’t fun.

And it certainly wasn’t easy.

Yet, our Heavenly Father can force us into situations that will ultimately bring out the best in us.

I’ve learned how to write and have guts enough to let people read it. I can now work a camera without breaking one. My computer skills have improved exponentially. And honestly, none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been forced along this ASD journey.

God can take what looks like a mess and turn it into a message that will draw us nearer to Him!

Even when we feel alone, we are not alone. God is ever present through both fears and tears.

I don’t have to have the answers as long as I give God my problems.

 Like Lan, I’m now “free to be me.”

I’ve conquered my fear of flying solo!

“Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.”
Mark 1:35 NKJV

System Error!

System error.

I hate those dreaded words when they pop up on my computer screen. It generally indicates that whatever I’m trying to do, my computer isn’t going to allow me to do.

There are times I would have given anything to have had such warning when I was walking down a path I would later regret.

Thankfully, God is more than able to reconfigure us when we’ve gone astray. Many times, we don’t heed those signs that suggest a great idea might not be so great after all.

God reconfigures us by giving us opportunities to change our attitudes, grow in our faith and learn from our experiences.

Our version of a system error may be a relationship that is toxic or other interests that diminish our spiritual lives, not enhance them.

God can reconfigure us using the strangest of circumstances. We can find ourselves in situations where we have no choice but to escape instead of pressing forward.

I’ve certainly been there a time or two.

It’s at this point we must “reboot.”

When a computer reboots, it must first shut down. Sometimes God has to shut down certain things we have going on as well. This is often the only recourse left when have allowed ourselves to become corrupted by some virus or another.

 Starting from scratch is rarely ideal especially when you made significant gains only to see them vanish. Loosing data (or things) you believe to be valuable is painful. However, some loss is often necessary if we are ever to function correctly again.

The right virus is certain death for even the most complex computer. The same applies to us. We must arm ourselves with the only “antivirus” that can continually clean off those cookies and extensions that cling to us, many we carry unaware.

Norton doesn’t have anything on God’s Word. It is the only thing that keeps us running smoothly. Software has to update to keep current but God’s Word is unchanging and never fails. It is our only defense for all the malware roaming around that would shut us down for good!

It often takes more time than expected to fix a corrupted disk and more steps than the average person could ever imagine. This is also true when God is “fixing” us and our many circumstances. Yet, because God’s mercies are new every morning, we can all restart!

 God is the Ultimate Restorer. He can fix anyone!

We can never be so far gone as to fall beyond the reach of our Father.

When is the last time you asked God to restore you?

He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake. Psalm 23:3 NKJV

Sun or Shade?

Any gardener’s dilemma often includes where to put a favorite plant. You may have a favorite specimen but not necessarily the ideal place to plant it. I have always been fond of caladiums which thrive in shady environments.

When I began my gardening endeavors, I planted about thirty or so bulbs so excited when they finally emerged from the ground. However, my yard had full sun exposure for most of the day. What happened to my plants?

The sun fried them to a crisp.

I wasn’t wise enough to make sure I put those plants in an area suitable for their sustained growth.

Fortunately for us, God provides everything we need to bloom wherever we are planted. If Paul can write a great part of the New Testament from prison, why can’t we show God’s love and characteristics in our daily lives.

Shade plants will fry in the sun. Sun loving plants turn yellow in the shade. We aren’t dependent on ideal conditions before we can exhibit the qualities God would have us to.

If you are in a “hot” situation, act like a cactus. Have your own internal supply of Water (God’s Word) to carry you through hot and stressful situations. You can’t expect God to trust you with greater responsibilities if you are struggling where you are right now.

Whatever your situation, don’t complain, change!

 Change your mind and adjust your attitude when you can’t see God’s goodness.  Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it is not there. Focus on God and allow His strength to hold you up when you are weak.

If you are a “sunny” person forced into a shady situation, ask God to get you through moment by moment if you have to. Allow God’s light in you to illuminate the dark places and people that surround you.

We can’t expect God to promote us from one situation to the next if we don’t display an attitude of gratitude for what He has already done.  

Back to the caladiums.

A couple of years ago I was at the local hardware store and found a hybrid of my favorite plant…sun tolerant caladiums. Too good to be true I was sure, but I purchased them anyway. Thankfully, the plants thrived despite my skepticism. These new caladiums were bred to withstand the heat.

And so are we.

God equips us to withstand whatever conditions we find ourselves in as long as we depend on Him.

Sun or Shade, it doesn’t matter.

We can be stable and able wherever we’re planted!

“Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.” Psalms 1:1-3 NKJV

 

 

Endure!

Ivy is one of my favorite plants for many reasons. However, the trait that I find most appealing is its tendency to endure.

You can pull it up by the roots and think it’s gone. But look around a few months later and there it is once more!

Ivy’s roots dig deep.

Its grasp is tenacious.

We must also dig deep and hold fast to God who sustains us that we may overcome our trials and not be overcome by them.

Many times when we feel like we are barely holding on, we are straining to hold on to everything but God. People and things will always fall short of what we really need, but our God is mighty to save, yet not always in the ways we would hope or think.

And then there are times our disappointment arises not because we aren’t holding fast to God, but rather because we expect deliverance from our trials instead of allowing God to fortify us through them.

Our perceived hardships may in fact, facilitate the blessings we desire.

Our personal fires can mold us into the people God intended all along and even burn out a few faults in the process!

One sign of maturity is when we can weather our droughts and storms with the confidence that God is larger than whatever it is that looms over us. When we place our hope in Him instead of ourselves, it is then that we find peace and are blessed.

 We each have a purpose and a race to run that is ours alone.

Some things you may be hoping for or working toward may seem at a standstill.  Yet, don’t dare give up on your dreams!

 If God has given them to you, He can allow them come true.

If you endure.

My ivy grows slowly, yet it continues to grow…

“Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end [intended by] the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.” James 5:11

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares [us], and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1 NKJV